Florida Man Named “Florida” Commits Strange Crime Series


Lawrence Franklin King Florida is his name and he’s a Florida man through and through.

According to WFLA, Florida embarked on a wave of burglaries in Zephyrhills, Florida over Memorial Day weekend. Police say it started when Florida broke into a restaurant, stole soft drinks (Whiteclaw), left and dumped them in a retention basin in the back.

Then police said Florida stole clippers, a charging stand and headphones from a local hair salon. In the end, he allegedly broke into another barbershop and stole more clippers. Wait, there’s more … Florida allegedly broke into a carpet store and stole nothing. Then the cops say he broke into a bakery and stole money and a variety of insane items.

Then he allegedly broke into a veterinary clinic, then a cat rescue center, stole a ring camera from someone’s house, and eventually (apparently) barged into a truck and stole a briefcase. AT to summarize, he would have, entered illegally the following places:

  • Hairdressing salon (2)
  • Restaurant
  • Capet store
  • Veterinary clinic
  • Cat rescue center
  • Truck

The cops say he took items that did not belong to him which included:

  • Hair clippers
  • White claw
  • Dewormers for cats
  • Medicines for animal pain
  • Syringes
  • Coins
  • Briefcase
  • Doorbell
  • Keys
  • Jackets
  • Scissors

The police were able to find and arrest Lawrence Franklin King Florida who admitted his criminal insanity. Authorities also say he helped show police where he dumped most of the stolen items.

My guy (allegedly) got HAM (tough as a mother) on the flight and barely kept any of the items he stole. If I were one of the cops on the case, I would be less concerned with this crime as it appears on the surface and more interested in what it really means.

He took the items (allegedly) and abandoned them, didn’t he? Perhaps this is because he believed that the items used or consumed would somehow contribute to the downfall of society. Perhaps these specific items, when combined, can be used as a propulsion system for human bloodthirsty aliens.

Or, maybe methamphetamine was involved?

If you want to catch a criminal you have to think like one, or just wait outside a barbershop, at least this guy hates him.

These crimes mean so little that they will likely haunt investigators their entire lives. He would stay with me, every night I would roll around in bed wondering why?

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